Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
