No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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