Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
