He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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