What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
