D3 body, D1 cock
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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