I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
the liver wants what the liver wants
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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