I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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