My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
