i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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