I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
smell my finger.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
