And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
