I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
