I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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