The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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