She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
