I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
