im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
