So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize