I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
