My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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