Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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