Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
you never un-have a 4some
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
