yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
