I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
