dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
thus making me awesome and them whores
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
