Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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