Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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