I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
