why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
