He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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