Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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