since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
