The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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