Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is Oprah even human
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
