I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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