Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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