I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I FOUND THE LEGS
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
