He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What a fucking waste of an outfit
she smelled like a LAN party
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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