I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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