5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
