The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
