i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
