YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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