His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
