so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So much Jack, so little girl.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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