Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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