Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
ttyl tear gas
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
