I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
