Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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