Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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