She is in my trunk
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize