We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do vagina's smell?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
