Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
