i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
