It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
