He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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