After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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