Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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