I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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